Shawn's Weblog

Yesterday was bike to work day. No I didn't ride my bike, I've been driving my van, I'd call it Shane's van if he'd get his damn license already. I am starting to think about getting a motorcycle, I even looked on craigslist for trikes.

I found the following story funny.

Man demands bear story be told at funeral

I expected to find this one funny, but was disappointed.

Half the staff quits after refusing to wear pants on the job

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Sun, 13 Apr 2008 @ 11:28 || The boys || Funny

Sukki, Shane and I were at Safeway yesterday. We were there mainly to refill our 5 gallon water bottles. By the time we got to the checkout, we had 3 carriages, two for the water bottles and 1 full of groceries.

Sukki and Shane were unloading the third carriage while I went up to the cashier to give her our Safeway card. While the cashier seemed kinda grumpy to the couple ahead of us, she cheered up with me, not something I'm used to. She got chatty and asked about my T-Shirt. She was probably mid-forties and not sore on the eyes. She leaned over the conveyor belt to look at what Shane and Sukki were doing, and asked me, "Do you have any items under the carriages the boys are unloading?"

It was hard not to burst out laughing. I managed, and told her, "nope, just the water refills from the other two carriages." Luckily Sukki didn't hear her call her a boy. The way Sukki dresses, I can see how she can be mistaken as Shane's little brother. When we were all cashed out, the cashier, still overly friendly, asked the usual question, "do you need help out?" I told her "No, I think me and the boys can manage."

I waited till we were at the van to tell Sukki. She seems to think the woman was a little daft.

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Mon, 28 Jan 2008 @ 20:43 || The Torch flashlight || Funny

This Cool Flashlight was on slashdot today.

If the batteries lasted more than 15 minutes this would be a damn helpful survival toy. Not replacing matches anytime soon.

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Thu, 17 Jan 2008 @ 21:42 || whatcouldpossiblygowrong || Funny

For those of you who read slashdot, my favorite tag is whatcouldpossiblygowrong.

For those who don't read slashdot, it's a news site for geeks. It has a feature that allows users to 'tag' stories. This helps readers know a little more about the story before spending the time to read it. Some of the common tags are, troll, flamebait, and my favorite whatcouldpossiblygowrong.

Today's posts about the 'Industrial Robot Arm Becomes Giant Catapult' and the 'Green Light for Human/Animal Hybrids', struck my funny bone.

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Wed, 12 Dec 2007 @ 20:59 || GIDC || Funny

Leave it to the Koreans... Looks like they have created glow in the dark cats

While creepy I guess this is more practical than glow in the dark pigs.

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Sun, 02 Dec 2007 @ 09:37 || Tree || Funny

We haven't had an office xmas tree since Maria left. I have it stored in my basement, I had toyed with bringing it in and setting it up, but I doubt I will.

Over on the maker's blog they had this picture.

It's too bad I can't drink sodas anymore or I'd have enough cans to make a twelve foot tall tree. Probably would look good with a few coke cans for the red. Not sure a diet mountain dew tree would look as good.

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Wed, 28 Nov 2007 @ 21:51 || Normal Exit || Funny

I noticed a sign above the door as I was leaving the clients building tonight. "Normal Exit", which struck me as odd. It did look like a normal exit, nothing fancy. After exiting I turned around and looked at the doorway and it was labeled "Regular Entrance".

So if I go in this door I'm regular but I come out normal?

Is there abnormal exits or irregular entrances?

Probably someone had extra budget in the sign department and went nuts labeling things. Must have happened years ago as the signs looked like they were made in the 70s.

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Mon, 22 Oct 2007 @ 16:53 || Exterminate! || Funny

Elyse sent me this today. Dalek Pumpkin from the Evil Mad Scientist Laboratories. Not sure why she was reading that, she never struck me as evil.

This would be neat as just a jack-o-latern, however it's also remote controlled. read the instructions on how they built it, on their website.

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Wed, 17 Oct 2007 @ 12:26 || Colbert 2008! || Funny

Last night Stephen Colbert announced he will run for President in 2008.

If only "Perl Script" could vote. :)

There has been a number of things that Stephen has won online, due mostly to "Perl Script". The most notable was a bridge in Turkey. However while they awarded him the bridge on his show, Turkey later named the bridge for some old dead guy. It would be funny if "Perl Script" could get him into the White House.

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Tue, 16 Oct 2007 @ 16:09 || FSM || Funny

Shane and I worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Just because. It seems as logical as any other religion.

Makers mag had a neat write up on how to make a FSM Costume.

I think we need T-shirts.

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Wed, 03 Oct 2007 @ 09:25 || dimensional math || Funny

Had to go to the post office, (due to Koreans, but that is another annoying thing for me to complain about) I got stuck behind a woman trying to pay for the postage of a box she didn't have with her. She did have the 3 dimensions of the box. Apparently to ship something, it is no longer just the weight of the item that the price is determined from. They want the over all dimensions.

So, I stood in line while the Postal clerk explained to the woman she didn't have the correct measurements for her to type it into the computer. The woman explained, the length was 42", the height was 12" and the width was 4". The postal woman said, "no I need the length and the "circumference" of the box".

They both gave me a dirty look when I laughed, then ignored me.

The postal clerk then ask the woman to go home and take a flexible tape measure and wrap it around the box widthwise and bring in that measurement.

I hated to butt in, but I told them that the measurement she was asking for would be 32" though I don't think that was what the post office really needed. The clerk, burst out, "how would you know?". I told her, she's right I didn't and that it would be best if the woman went back home and got the measurement.

I wonder how many packages this clerk has over charged people for.

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Fri, 28 Sep 2007 @ 15:08 || Moose Dealer || Funny

The car dealership I buy most of my cars from was visited by a Moose today. I didn't know we even had Moose living in Colorado, much less down in the foothills.

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Thu, 27 Sep 2007 @ 13:51 || Fear or Respect || Funny

I noticed when I'm driving my F150, I get respect. Other drivers will wave, especially other F150 drivers, others get out of my way, they yield to me., etc.

These things also happen when I'm driving the van, however, I think it's more out of fear, as folks are jumping or diving out of the way, yielding nervously and not looking directly at me.

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Mon, 24 Sep 2007 @ 13:47 || Evil Shawn || Funny

I'm trying not to let this blog become just a subset of what I read on slashdot, but I couldn't pass this up.

Parallel universes exist, A study done at Oxford proves the existence of Parallel Universes. That means there are goateed versions of all of us, doing evil in a parallel dimension.

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Sun, 23 Sep 2007 @ 19:12 || Random text message || Funny

An old EQ friend sent me a text message today. Funny, as I thought she deleted my cell phone number after a joke I made on the EQ message board.

Some people are like slinkies. They don't have a purpose, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

Might be a Jack Handy quote, not sure what kind of mood she was in.

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Mon, 17 Sep 2007 @ 21:08 || Mad Soap || Funny

Today was an interesting day. I rarely consider murdering a client, but today was one of those days. I have a very frantic manager who is way past panic mode. It was all I could do to make sure she didn't have a heart attack.

After leaving the room to cool down, I used the restroom. While washing my hands, I reach over to get the soap (probably a lot of jokes start out this way), and the soap dispenser explodes, and I have liquid soap all over me. I was soaked in soap.

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Sat, 01 Nov 2008 @ 12:58 || Bext Web Site Ever || Funny

Wed, 20 Aug 2008 @ 13:42 || Bigfoot || Funny

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 @ 13:40 || manbearcow? || Funny

Wed, 13 Aug 2008 @ 15:38 || 'Daily Show' will travel to Denver for DNC || Funny

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 @ 15:51 || Bears and Bikes || Funny

Sun, 13 Apr 2008 @ 11:28 || The boys || Funny

Mon, 28 Jan 2008 @ 20:43 || The Torch flashlight || Funny

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 @ 21:42 || whatcouldpossiblygowrong || Funny

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 @ 20:59 || GIDC || Funny

Sun, 02 Dec 2007 @ 09:37 || Tree || Funny

Wed, 28 Nov 2007 @ 21:51 || Normal Exit || Funny

Mon, 22 Oct 2007 @ 16:53 || Exterminate! || Funny

Wed, 17 Oct 2007 @ 12:26 || Colbert 2008! || Funny

Tue, 16 Oct 2007 @ 16:09 || FSM || Funny

Wed, 03 Oct 2007 @ 09:25 || dimensional math || Funny

Fri, 28 Sep 2007 @ 15:08 || Moose Dealer || Funny

Thu, 27 Sep 2007 @ 13:51 || Fear or Respect || Funny

Mon, 24 Sep 2007 @ 13:47 || Evil Shawn || Funny

Sun, 23 Sep 2007 @ 19:12 || Random text message || Funny

Mon, 17 Sep 2007 @ 21:08 || Mad Soap || Funny